Overbaked
Raise your hand if you’ve ever burned the candle at both ends?
Cool.
Now raise your other hand if you’ve ever cut the candle in half to have more ends to burn?
Ah, my people.
Finally, raise your hand if you burned so bright you lost sleep and control over your emotions and didn’t eat well and forgot to take care of course and became the very worst version of yourself?
Hello, you burned-out soul.
Let me tell you a quick story. During the first week of September, I felt like I just couldn’t win. My allergies were acting up and I was sleeping worse than normal. I was working longer hours than I should have, I allowed my boundaries to be compromised, and I didn’t tend to things that would have supported the health and well-being of myself and my business. I was Not Myself.
That Friday afternoon I received some news that generally would have bummed me out for 20 minutes, and then I would have wiggled it out, regrouped, and bounced back. But on that day there was no bouncing. I broke, hard. Instead of taking time to cope/heal/recover, I pushed on.
Several minutes later my partner discovered me sitting at my desk sobbing while putting spin art from the nieces and nephews into picture frames. No defenses. No resiliency. Just a big ol’ overtired, overworked puddle on the floor. (He made me stop.)
“Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress.”
Burnout happens when ambitious people accept that “unhealthy busy” is the drumbeat of their lives. [Truly, other than f*ck, busy is my favorite four-letter word.]
I’m not talking about people who like to have full schedules. I’m talking about (and to) the people who double or triple book themselves, shelve their personal priorities and goals to make room for things that don’t really matter to them; and commit to projects or relationships or endeavors that hold hostage their energy, spirit and joy.
You know when you’re saying things like, “If I don’t do XYZ, I’m gonna burn out.” My friend, if you’re saying that out loud, you’ve already crossed that threshold. You’re there. You’re burnt. Were there red flags along the way? Sure enough, but you were so singularly focused on trying to survive that your heart couldn’t catch up to your brain and your hands.
You’re in the best of company and it’s not too late to help yourself.
Step 1: Put one thing down immediately. Decide on the one thing that matters least in the grand scheme of things and let it go and reclaim that brain-space.
Step 2: Take a break and take some air. Fresh air. Outside air, if you can. A change of scenery can change your perspective, and a little sun and that special autumn cool will do you wonders.
Step 3: Get real with yourself about what’s enough. What are you working so hard for? What do you really need? What do you really need to do? Does it have to be done now?
Step 4: Set boundaries and stick to them. For every NO there’s a YES. Understand your YES and start moving in that direction.
Step 5: Be a little nicer to yourself, please and thank you. Get some sleep. Exercise, if it’s your thing. Have a snack. Hydrate. Do something that’s only for you that makes you happy.
It’s going to take some time for the “unhealthy busy” to reset itself to something more manageable and balanced. It’s going to take you some time to reclaim your energy and well-being. Just like with acknowledging-and-ignoring your Imposter Inner Voice, you’ll find yourself pushing against old habits while you practice new ones.
It’s like baking a pie, which is a pastime I really enjoy. Your first few pies may be wonky and the crust may burn a little. But you’ll find your recipes and have good bakes that are Hollywood Handshake-worthy.
Watch out for burns, and bake well.
