During this time of year – when there is a false sense of things slowing down in the lead up to the winter holidays – setting aside time for reflection and big thinking is essential.

We’re so accustomed to the hustle of DOING that we’ve lost sight of what’s most important, of what kick-started this procedure of accomplishment in the first place.

The moment you focus the lens on what you’re asking, the easier it will be to filter out the things that don’t interest you in return. Narrow the scope and request the feedback you need.

It’s those moments of misbehaving that glitterbombs are most vulnerable. That’s when the organizational or peer pressure intensifies. That’s when the IIV gets a little louder.

Don’t choose what’s expected just because it’s expected. Don’t choose what you think They want you to do. Don’t choose only the safe thing.

Choose adventure. Choose what inspires you. Choose the Funknown.

Too often there’s an expectation that when a leader arrives at a Director or VP or C-level position, they’ve got it all figured out. They don’t. And that’s normal.

Not too long ago, I was browsing at a local small bookshop, and I happened to overhear two women talking about how one had lost her strategic vision.

Several years ago, my work friend Heather and I were talking about a situation in which a colleague needed to have a conversation with their team about a project that wasn’t going well, and Heather dropped a buzzword that rocked my tiny little leadership world.

I invite you to cut yourself some slack. I invite you to find ways to shush your imposter inner voice. And I invite you to let go of perfectionism.

Where do we find comfort in the comeback, without romanticizing the suffering or adversity we’ve experienced? With so much that is out of our control, how do we move beyond certain experiences without losing what makes us special?

When I attended my first coaching training intensive, an early homework assignment I was given was to ask people who are close to me to describe me using three words. 

There’s a moment that happens during a coaching engagement right around our seventh session together.

Your Imposter Inner Voice shows up and throws some cold water on your spark.

And then you arrive to our coaching session and ask:

What if I can’t reach my goal?

Long after the New Year’s Eve hangover ends, you’ll be living your life through your routines and dreams. YOUR best life is unique to the fantastic, weird being that you are.

It’s my mindset that needs practice and exercise.  I want to figure out ways to ask that are both true to me and that allow me to own the shared experience that I‘m inviting. 

Raise your hand if you’ve ever burned the candle at both ends?

Cool.

Now raise your other hand if you’ve ever cut the candle in half to have more ends to burn?

Ah, my people.

My clients often hear “constructive feedback” on ways to embrace sameness. We’ve been called “too much,” & not in an affectionate way.

Here’s the thing: when you’re starting out on your own or taking on a new role, you can follow the books and blogs about how to set up and go about your business. You don’t have to, but you can.

You’ll try and fail and try and learn and try again. You’ll bump into things.

What to do when the signs were there, demanding a major change and I ignored them and explained them away.

In my change management work, I spend a lot of time talking to employees about what keeps them at their jobs and what motivates them to leave. Much like the Gallup quote above, their answer is almost unanimously leadership-related.